What if you heard it years ago before anyone else noticed?

*sad Toblerone*

It does, actually. It’s like a very squeaky, very quiet fart.

If a hipster fakes their artisanal product and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Is a hipster’s word worth nothing these days?

I read this to my wife last night and she laughed out loud. Now I think I need to repeat it to the friend who’s bringing brussels sprouts to Christmas dinner.

Oh honey, from everyone who has lived with someone BPD or NPD and can walk in a room with every spidey sense tingling, ready to block, counter, deflect, jolly, cajole, comfort, whatever is needed to avoid a “situation”.....big goddam hugs. Big ones.

Omg that’s amazing! Also, to be fair, that’s pretty much what they taste like, so.....

Mine falls in in with the always destined to go woefully awry “good intention lie”. My mom and my biological father divorced when I was about 9 months old. My mother immediately started dating my stepfather (here after referred to as “Dad”). They had dated before but broke up because my dad felt he was too young to…

Won’t someone please think of the Brussels sprouts!

That is hilarious. My stepdad once told me one of our relatives invented brussel sprouts in a bid to get me to eat them. I had been learning in school about George Washington Carver popularizing peanuts as a crop, so this made total sense to me at the time. I ate the brussel sprouts.

This character was just reminding me of Robin Hood the whole time.

A dick, and also my hero. Well done.

Don’t feel too bad. I hear there’s a major US political party that tells a variation on that same basic lie all the time now.

That is probably the best fuck up a kid lie I have ever heard.

I’m the liar.

My mom convinced me that people could change their race.

When I was really young, like eight maybe, my family was friends with some neighbors. They were all white except for the oldest son. I was a kid in a super white town, so confused kid me asked my mom how white people could have a black child. My mother, rather…

So this is more like a lie I made my sister believe, because I was the evil manipulative yarn-spinning older sister and she was my gullible cooperative sidekick, but:

Everything in my adult life would be the typical depressing stuff.

That my mother was a magical princess. That all of her old ‘80s bridesmaid dresses were her old princess getup. That she had a crystal ball to keep tabs on us when she was at work. I was very, very touched and inspired that she “married down” for love, and admired her magnanimous toleration of her pushy mother-in-law…