This is 100% the reason why I chose not to ever reproduce.
RedHelveticaCake
soramimicake
Of course the Secret Palpatine version already exists. There’s a link to the google file for the print ‘n play version a little farther down on the page.
Mr. Ford, I’d hate to tell you this but they’ve already made an award winning Howard Hughes biopic. You can stop now.
This is really the only scary story from Jez that I have absolutely not forgotten.
I learned that one of our especially old phones (rotary dial!) had a receiver that you could unscrew the speaking end from, and the microphone part of it would come right off. If I did that before picking up, the phone wouldn’t transmit anything to the people on the line. I listened in to some of my sister’s convos…
The woman calls 911 and explains her worries to this dispatcher, all while recognizing that it’s “probably nothing.” The dispatcher asks if she’s alone in the house (she answers yes) and agrees that it’s probably paranoia, but promises to send an officer when one is available.
I have one of those solid wave-shaped memory foam pillows. When I clicked through to the Ask a Clean Person post, it says those can’t be washed. So how long before I should replace it?
It’s not too late to get a new calendar:
Now playing
Christmas at Ground Zero got a whole lot less funny this year.
Because -
“Our divine rulers have, since then, been successively evil, mad, foolish, and - now - all three.”
Anyone who’s read Roald Dahl’s memoir “Boy” probably already knows this. I don’t know how much British boarding school has changed since that was written, but I’m willing to bet it’s not a lot.
I was in line at a burger place the other day, and a lady who was some variety of manager came out to promote the new sandwiches. “Would you like to try the new XYZ?” The guy in front of me who was next to order responded with “No, but I’d like to try you,” and proceeded to hit on her some more while the person at the…
I pray that Trump develops sleep paralysis.
I’m willing to bet the only part of the shirt they bothered to read was the part that said “Trump”, and said to themselves - “Hey, that lady’s wearing a Trump shirt! Must be a fan! She wins a photo with Trump Jr.!”
凸(╬ಠ益ಠ)凸
“stoop all the way to girls,”
DO THEY NOT HAVE CHILD SERVICES IN GLASGOW
Colouring books, crawling, what’s next? Binkies?