This couple is AWESOME! I want antlers on my headdress and a F*N HORNED OWL at my wedding!

I would have guessed ceramic.

When I used to work at a pet store, I'd tell people that tarantulas were cute and great pets. "They're small fuzzy animals! Small fuzzy creatures are cute, right?"

I was expecting something more like deploying a car airbag. Like a "GTFO MY SPACE" rather than a "please leave?".

So, when are the mandatory prostate exams for all the male students?

Exactly what I was going to say. When was the last time anyone made an image of a really pretty man being decorative?

What happened to his hands?

Do robots work better when they're designed like humans with really awful posture?

Just wanted to add my fave Double Dutch song:

Got enough quarters?

Or that woman who set fire to someone's car because she didn't get her McFlurry. Maybe there's some correlation between Florida, crazy, and McDonalds.

Try listening to Bjork?

This is like poetry.

Sorry, my takeaway from this article is that I want to hear the penny whistle solo from My Heart Will Go On played on a trombone now.

You know what's lazier than buying a canister of red pepper flakes from the grocery store? Buying a jar of chili oil from a chinese grocery store. However, please note that chinese chili oil usually contains other ingredients like garlic, soy sauce, dried shrimp, etc.

Cool, I'm The Intemperate Precentor, whatever the f that means. However, I want to pull that lever in the top photo to generate album titles.

I resisted using that exact phrase. Now I wonder why I bothered :P

It's OK, guys! Tortoises and turtles are different families! It might be more like wearing a shirt made of chimpanzee skin!

I went out with an adorable half-Japanese half-something-I-don't-remember about ten years ago who was also a pothead. I probably would have stuck around in that relationship longer, but I caught him just after a breakup with a long-term GF so that didn't really work out.