All of the stuff you say he is is more typical of entitled white men than millennials. Plus, he’s not a millennial. 

No way. Dee in the bathroom as an ostrich!

One day I hope to be as funny as you!

It’s been like this ever since he started drinking that brain and nerve tonic that Artie Burns gave him.

Bruce, you’re out of here!

I get the parent’s grief. But blaming some locker room attendant for running out to score him some drugs and not Skagg’s himself is some next level denial. His death is indeed tragic and I wish he got some help, but it was his decision to make this fatal mistake. Jamming up some underling is bullshit.

Don’t just win an argument, Godwin an argument.

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

Uh, actually yes, fuck anyone who supports Trump. I’m..a bit surprised that requires any kind of clarification.

This is the old man I strive to become.  Has empathy, but not without enjoying the absurdity of life. Also I would like to own a hat

If you’re mad about this you are a garbage human being. Especially in a game already loaded with product placement and egregious microtransactions.

I appreciate how this bold young man is calling Ross out on the mission of the charity. It’s like:

But if we just switch to Celsius, then those days are just 32 degrees. That is much colder. 

I like how everyone is rattling off their bullshit regional chain restaurants. That’s against the rules, you don’t get to say the clearly better quality product holds up better than national stadium sponsoring size fast food fuckshacks.

Yelling at them is a start but I’d prefer to see actual repercussions. 

I say this genuinely, not as a hipster — how long have you read Deadspin?

Translation, if needed:

Dear Penthouse,

For all the greys, I know this will probably fall on deaf ears or be intentionally misunderstood, but there are those of us who think it is more patriotic to question and examine your country, that you can love something and still understant it can have serious flaws, and that we’re all in this together, so we should…

That presumes Mexico counts as a safe third country, which is an assessment that fails even basic scrutiny. If you’re going to pop in and spew misinformation, at least pretend you’ve done the bare minimum to back up your bullshit.