Wonderful double feature. I also recommend 28 Days Later and [REC] (or even Quarantine, which is nearly as good).

LANGUAGE!

"Hen-pecked in a h*ckin' pen!"

I think the animal in question is…


























































































…A COCK!

I wouldn't stab Donald Trump with a Ticonderoga. No one deserves that.

And some people like superhero movies!

"Ms. Morrison, please report to gate 3 to claim your wallet and Baby Jesus buttplug."

Well in this case the person is publishing the photos of his stuff himself…

*Series of clicks and high-pitched squeals, but trust me, they're puns.*

It just so happens I listened to a story about dolphin vaginas while driving through the Pennsylvania countryside recently.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/qui…

You know what was bullshit? Those mechanical pencils where you twist the tip to make the lead come out. Give me clicky pencils or give me death.

God, this sounds like Cleveland State so much. I'm sure they'd give their right arm to bulldoze the women's shelter.

Counterpoint: recovery time between sets is necessary. And I'm not unloading all my plates so you can work through and then unloading yours then reloading mine.

I also like "peckerwood."

Second the basic Crock Pot one. If you don't have one already, you probably don't need fancy shit. Buy a fancy new one if you get really into using it.

NOT QUITE EVERYONE.

Art museum's open late on Wednesdays, too. 9pm. It's too bad the Cinematheque only runs Th-Su.

DON'T USE THE EQUIPMENT I WANT TO USE. AT ALL.

I'm going to see Baby Driver next week… at the drive-in!

PUT THE GODDAMNED WEIGHTS BACK ON THE RACK WHERE THEY BELONG, YOU BRAINLESS MEATHEAD JOCKS