I think the animal in question is…


























































































…A COCK!

I wouldn't stab Donald Trump with a Ticonderoga. No one deserves that.

And some people like superhero movies!

"Ms. Morrison, please report to gate 3 to claim your wallet and Baby Jesus buttplug."

Well in this case the person is publishing the photos of his stuff himself…

*Series of clicks and high-pitched squeals, but trust me, they're puns.*

It just so happens I listened to a story about dolphin vaginas while driving through the Pennsylvania countryside recently.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/qui…

You know what was bullshit? Those mechanical pencils where you twist the tip to make the lead come out. Give me clicky pencils or give me death.

God, this sounds like Cleveland State so much. I'm sure they'd give their right arm to bulldoze the women's shelter.

Counterpoint: recovery time between sets is necessary. And I'm not unloading all my plates so you can work through and then unloading yours then reloading mine.

I also like "peckerwood."

Second the basic Crock Pot one. If you don't have one already, you probably don't need fancy shit. Buy a fancy new one if you get really into using it.

NOT QUITE EVERYONE.

Art museum's open late on Wednesdays, too. 9pm. It's too bad the Cinematheque only runs Th-Su.

DON'T USE THE EQUIPMENT I WANT TO USE. AT ALL.

I'm going to see Baby Driver next week… at the drive-in!

PUT THE GODDAMNED WEIGHTS BACK ON THE RACK WHERE THEY BELONG, YOU BRAINLESS MEATHEAD JOCKS

I just got a crewcut and I'm pleased as punch.

Are you renting a car? Cleveland's transit system is so-so. But there's always Uber/Lyft. If you wanted to kill most of a day, I'd say go to the east side, hit up Record Rev, walk around Coventry, Little Italy, University Circle, the Cultural Gardens and the Museum of Art (which is free and world-class).

You're probably near downtown. There's not much retail downtown, but these are all a reasonable drive (in ascending order of distance):