There there, why don't you calm down and snack on some delicious HORMEL BLACK LABEL BACON™

Wendy's is the best of the three hamburgers.
Wendy's is worst of the three three french fries.
Wendy's is the most expensive of the three.

**** ** in the *******

“Great” “job,” Internet“!”

That was Alan Tudyk.

Roughly 95% of the plot and characters have left my mind since I saw it. There was the hero girl, that one's easy, and the grizzled guy who started his own splinter rebellion, I got that, and the bad Imperial guy who I can't really remember what his deal was, and uncanny valley Tarkin, and I don't even remember who…

I can tell you what's in it so you don't get embarrassed at work. POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY OWN BUTT, BY CHUCK TINGLE

*A single tear rolls down C-Murder's cheek.*

*Not "That" Dr. Phil gets vaudeville-hooked off the stage, but not before being pelted by rotting fruit and vegetables.*

Force-sensitive Dark Roombas of the Sith, but yeah, Roombas nonetheless.

Godzilla vs. Tesseract

Was it E's corpse just sitting there or did they somehow reanimate it? And did he do "Boyz in the Hood"?

Hey True Buckaroos, if you're looking for some cheap, short fiction, I have got just the thing for you: https://www.amazon.com/Poun…

Why bookshots? Novellas good. Brevity good.

How many of those are made up bands invented just to make me feel out of touch?

I like semicolons a lot. Kurt Vonnegut's semicolon advice can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. It can take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOOOOOON.

Ah yes, "Just ignore him and he'll go away." That's how we defeated Trump, after all!

**** ***

QED publishers are obligated to publish everything.

STOP OSTRACIZING ME, AMERICA. STOP OSTRACIZING ME FOUR TIMES A YEAR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.