It may be rich in money, but Jurassic Park can't touch "Jurassic Bark" for emotional depth.

Remember when using "rapier" and "wit" constituted a compliment?

Simmons' speaking voice should never get broadcast anywhere. His HBO contract should restrict him to writing, editing and producing.

Trump = Berlusconi?

Too easy. Have we already forgotten that former Vice President Dick Cheney spent four years without a beating heart. There's your political horror.

iZombie Goes to Washington
The Veepire Diaries
The Legislating Dead

Fortunately, Obama majored in walking and chewing gum as an undergrad.

Isn't The Onion "America’s most trusted fake news outlet," rather than The Daily Show?

Obama should sit down with Larry Wilmore and call a bunch of people motherfuckers. Wilmore is great at that.

Catholic schools teach phonics. The nuns probably won;t seel to Katy Perry because of that "California Gurlz" abomination.

I often say "Jesus!" when seeing Katy Perry's tits.

I'll only watch this emoji movie if it's subtitled in Esperanto.

Is there a word in Klingon for "Oh, for fuck's sake!"?

You yuan this round of Chinese mercantile punnery, Dik.

At the risk being too creepy, you think Gillian Anderson ever does sexy cosplay as Gillian Anderson?

Permission to believe denied.

Mulva!?

Gretsch, however, makes perfectly serviceable music instruments.

As cathartic and warranted as the public eviscerations and denunciations of Cosby are, might the worst punishment for a man who has spent six decades in the public eye be banishment. Like, it would probably strike Cosby dead if no one ever mentioned his name on television ever again. Never show his shows, cite his…

Hamm on Pike: Dr. Seuss After Dark