C is for "five hole."

Did a wizard do it? Because Bristol Palin still has not married. How can such a deeply Christian woman get pregnant out of wedlock? Before you respond, remember that Mary, Mother of Jesus, was Jewish.

A 5 am Newswire better be about somebody dying or going to the hospital. Us commenters have to sleep, dammt!

This could work, but they'll have to preserve the acid cynicism and gory violence. Maybe skip basic cable and go Showtime?

Joey's getting a Dell!

You doubt the Magic Mike casting relied upon package perusal?

The ability to look sexy matters for the available role. That's a talent I personally lack.

I'll admit to some confusion over how the audition call is sexist or offensive. The role? Absolutely. But if you're casting a sexist role, you need sexist criteria for judging taent.

Pantywaist
Bull
Shitters

This non-scandal just takes focus away from the child sex trafficking ring Affleck operates with Matt Damon.

Well, he is former spouse Will Arnett.

Sardonic exasperation is so yesterday.

*loses entire nest egg after having Linkin login stolen*

To put it in layman's terms: The best-looking female member of the losing Feud family must sleep with former host Louie Anderson.

"Feud Whammies Wheel: Merv's Monopoly in Jeopardy"

But the U.S. government outlawed slavery and continues to work in fits and starts on treating people equally. The Confederate States of America dedicated itself to perpetuating slavery. Read the declarations of secession.

See, no. The U.S. flag represents all that is purportedly good about the nation and its people. The fact that our actions do not meet the ideal does not negate the symbol. The Confederate Battle Flag, on the other hand, symbolizes only the worst human beings can do.

Oh, definitely. Gotta have your armed insurrection to fight for the freedom to deny freedom, or else what's the point.

The Confederate Battle Flag truly represents heritage — a heritage of racism and oppression.

Shouldn't a cooter museum display nothing but vaginas?