slow, intense, and functional

Projected box office gross: Zeppo

Rob Zombie shot an actor in his Groucho glasses.

Certainly what Gary Glitter and that guy from The Knack believed.

Who's reading the A.V. Club at 3:17 am?

To be fair, AVC is waking us up in the middle of the night to warn us about the approach of a black guy.

Hey, LAWYERS!

Can they get viewers to drink the Kool-Aid? Really be Jonestowning for new episodes? I'm Guayana say no.

As Chinese Homer Simpson would say, "Tao!"

Trump read both of Colbert's "America" books as how-to manuals.

Couterpoint: Jagoff = Coming

Pulling a cruel trick like this can get a guy dissolved in a barrel of acid.

Who gets bored during two months in Boston? The bars alone should keep anyone occupied.

*panics at the disco*

My, my, hey, hey
It's better to go bald
Than wear a toupee

I'll say what Donald Trump says about Neil Young: "He's a dirty immigrant."

Trump can get rid of the U.S. national debt the same way Trump discharged his own ruinous debt in the 1980s: Declaring bankruptcy while borrowing heavily from Merv Griffin Enterprises.

*Harpist and runway model Joanna Newsom walks out*

The word engineers at Hulu deemed "Plus" double ungood.

The Republicans are considering making walking barefoot across a room of broken glass a requirement for likely Democratic voters.