And that drunk uncle...was Albert Einstein.

But none of those scrubs can hold a candle to Riley Smith.

There’s a 10000% chance they already are. Especially because she's a woman

The Bears were totally fine with Hester being a return man and nothing else. Until he got a big fat contract for returning all those kicks. Then, to validate it in their eyes, they tried putting him at other positions.

I dunno man, someone falling through a roof of a gym is pretty out there.

Still better than what St Louis calls pizza.

Now Bowser can finally rule the Mushroom Kingdom.

Oh, the MLB forced the McCourts to sell the Dodgers because they wanted to use the team for fund their divorce, I’d put that as not as bad as being charged and possibly arrested for soliciting prostitution.

Yeah, looks like it should have been a goal kick (it looked like the striker touched it last before it went out).

Also there are still Pats fans who defend Aaron Hernandez.

I dunno, Bulls fans loved the White Mamba while he was with them.

Honestly, you’ve got a season twice as long as any other major league sport (fine, technically 2 games short of literally twice as long as NHL or NBA season) and you wonder why people don’t go to games. They’re not special, and sitting outside in Chicago, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Detroit, etc in April or early May is…

If they need someone to massage their ego, Bob knows someone.

Oh you naive child.

But Puddy was the character who dressed up as a rabid Devils fan.

They’re in Britain, not Florida.

You’ll just succumb to dihydrogen monoxide poisoning that way.

It also stopped two more shows and presumably more from happening. Or maybe they would be Tetris 99 Live, or Anthem Live, or whatever the newest fad with the youths is Live.

[a merciful Ron MacLean interrupts]