The Ban People: We should ban cruise ships.

Learn to code mine.

I drive a 392 challenger making 485 HP. Therefore, any car producing 486 or higher is too much, and should be illegal. 

Simply convert your oil derricks and fracking assemblies into Lithium shovels. Why has nobody thought of this?

I said that about BD-1 as well. 

Majors: *is a phenomenal actor*

Someone else shit their pants and now I’m expected to wear diapers.

Among the reasons I’m buying the shit out of Tesla stock. Besides all the unsexy supply side stuff they’re doing to generate profits, they also make money on fuckups.

My local option costs $30 for a large, which takes over an hour. That’s several excuses for ordering Domino’s.

My dogs in fact shit almost everything that they eat, so

Kinda sounds like exactly the thing we all said would happen, when people started in with the whole “Don’t pull people over, you can just ticket them later” thing. This is what you were asking for, when you asked for that. 

A quick BDSM scene, complete with whips and chains, foregrounds Pip’s time with Havisham, turning the feminist subtext of Dickens into text. ... Havisham and Estella treat him as their boy toy, with responsibilities including hide and seek, dance lessons, and forcing him to lose his virginity to a sex-positive member…

....really?

I mean that’s more or less how “Autopilot” works in airplanes. 

They’re telling me my zipcode will be six inches underwater by 2050. Watch out, folks, I live at 4500 feet MSL. Y’all are in for a time.

Sir, this is America.

All of which could anger the millions of halfway-out-the-door Oscar viewers who hoped that a Maverick or Avatar triumph for Best Picture would win them back.

I knew y’all were gonna forget 3:10 to Yuma

Grinding Nemo erasure.

Every once in a while I feel like maybe I’m missing something by skipping out on the new music scene, and just ignoring everyone there completely. I worry, sometimes, that I’ve lost the opportunity to experience all the beauty and artistry that the industry has to offer.