I had two Popeye’s sandwiches that were better than a CFA sandwich. I’ve had a dozen Popeye’s sandwiches.

these days

The park near where I grew up had a bunch of fancy coasters, like one where you hang under the track, one that runs forwards and backwards, lots of different loops and fancy shit..... by far the best and scariest one was The Snake (later the Predator I think? Maybe that’s backwards?), a no-frills rickety old wooden…

No hate crime charges were filed. Was this, like, a white supremacist getting busted and they decided to do the Inglorious Basterds thing?

When you’re rich, they just let you do it.

Oh! You forgot something, didn’t you? Back at the start, I said I was going to tell you about the time I *almost* died. *chuckles* Be seeing you.

I saw a guy leaving a gas station with his minivan doors open. The kids in the back were freaking out. We got in front of him and forced a stop. Dude was having a health crisis of some kind and his brain just said drive, so that’s what he did. Had no idea what was going on. We got him back into the station and they…

I need to hear (famous name) WEIGH IN ON THE CONTROVERSY, or I’ll die.

The only number I care about is the worst (reasonable) case scenario. If my range is better than expected, that’s a win. Just give me the cold numbers, and tell me how cold it was when you tested it so I can figure out if I need to anticipate worse.

I understand that by commenting on this article, I am contributing to the total engagement numbers, which imply that continuing to approach entertainment news in the way AV Club is doing is good for revenue.

I mean it’s Ukraine, buying your way out of trouble is the de-facto constitution there, but also yes. 

The mech suit rampage at the end of District 9 remains cool. I also like that the film followed a coward, rather than your typical action-movie moral paragon — he was an interesting character who achieved credible growth by the end of the film. The weird combination of interview/found-footage takes, alternating with…

“Hey gives us all of your personal information and get a free order of small fries!”

El Camino

I think part of the illusion is that Tesla actually, y’know, sells cars. 

I mean the drivethru is no worse than it ever was, in this design. It’s just the business-friendly alternatives have gotten much more convenient, which, obviously, the company wants. Your situation hasn’t gotten any worse, and arguably it wouldn’t really get any better if we added a second drivethru lane.

You know, we could all be reading a book right now.

People learn to love their chains, or in this case, the government surveillance equipment that intrudes upon their lives.

If I’m the franchise owner, I want to push you towards online ordering. You might sit in line once, watching the much BETTER customers speed through their three online lanes. And then you’ll download the app, and stop tying up my employees with stuff a computer could handle. 

My previous challenger (2011) had a feature on the key fob where you could double-press and hold the unlock button, and it would roll down your windows for as long as the button was held (so you could crack them, or roll all the way down). This was on a black car in the desert, so, that was a super convenient little…