Building a criminal case, on a very serious charge, against a potential defendant who may possess the means to vigorously explore and use all of the legal loopholes available to him, is not something that should be rushed into.

Seattle resident here. Yamauchi bought the Mariners out of respect for the area. Nintendo’s American HQ is in Redmond, a city just E/NE of Seattle.

When he and Ethan Couch meet in prison they will simultaneously gush “I’m such a big fan of yours” to each other.

I'm not saying it's great decision, but if the worst decision my 15 year old makes is a tattoo, I'd be alright with that.

This is the only way to put your shit on the conveyor. All other ways are false.

A married couple we know recently got pregnant, and sent my wife and me an online survey to rank potential baby names.

In the checkout, cold things go with other cold things. Boxes go with other boxes. The stuff that can be broken and smushed needs to be bagged last. Whatever embarrassing thing I have to buy is hidden in the middle between the boxes and the milk/juice, so people don’t realize my shame.

I’m sure all the infant to 12 year olds getting molested by family members will totally be in a place to do this ridiculous thing you’re demanding.

my father in law grew up in Key West during the 50's/60's. Apparently the fun thing to do was to ride your bike behind the DDT truck and get lost is the fog. #safetyfirst

Wait...the gardener is named Mr. Lawn?!

To paraphrase the Holocaust “survivor” Eli Weisel, author of the iconic memoir “Night,” in his response to a woman who expressed her guilt at feeling sad and depressed over trivial things, as her suffering could never match Weisel’s, he essentially told her this...”we all have our own pain, which fills us to the brim.…

kids these days just don’t appreciate the simple brilliance of edward 40-hands.

SCHEFTER: I’ll tell you this. He is a real stand up guy. Completely genuine.
PATRICK: But do you think he did it?
SCHEFTER: Does it matter? I mean, if you came in to my house and put a gun to my head, while I was on a radio interview answering questions about you...Er...Hardy and told me I HAD to answer. Then, gun to…

This is a good start, if women’s sports want to be equal to men’s

What is wrong with you lunatics? You lean to the side and just lift one butt cheek.

These ladies should contact me.

In many countries, historically, paler skin was associated with ruling classes and wealth because a fair complexion indicated a life not spent toiling outside in the fields. Asian ladies in my town who shield themselves from the sun with umbrellas are not trying to look like white people, they’re trying to avoid a…

I beg to differ. After decades of practice, I am incapable of completing a shit in under 30 minutes. Since I do have some sense of civic duty, I have trained myself to only shit at home. I never have to shit in public.