Replacing your top guy with a total amateur is now the thing that America does with its most important jobs.

My MIL is insufferable. (This is an opinion shared by her children) There is nothing I or anyone else can do to tame her worst tendencies. Being stoned or drunk is helpful.

My point about the department stores was simply that it’s not something we have in common. Just like she would not want to go rock climbing with me.

He cute too.

Somewhere out there is a bunch of Green Party voters thinking Ossof is a neo-liberal shill and refusing to vote for him

Now that the demographic that loved Lisa Frank’s designs as kids or teenagers are grown-ass women who have purchasing power this unicorn fever doesn’t surprise me in the least.

It’s not his fault mozzarella sticks look like little breaded penises, okay.

I have lunch every other week or so with a woman who works in my office. Sometimes we go to lunch at the same time and we both require nourishment so eating together makes sense. So far I have managed to avoid fucking her. I do this by not trying to fuck her. This also applies to all other women I know who are not my…

It also means he got drunk once and cheated on his wife.

It’s so their personal chefs have ample workspace and supplies to do their thang! I mean, c’mon - they have people for that.

I’m sure he totally asked the White House about the public Clinton email announcements, though. Yeah, okay, sure.

Some of us are interested, because of the camp factor. I don’t think there’s any other reason that people would be interested except it’s so over-the-top ridiculous that it’s fun. As long as you’re not any of them.

I hope you allow me to say that as a Mexican immigrant with undocumented relatives: there is absolutely no silver linning on her not being in the White House.

The internet works fast:

Revision:

“A meditative poem about the enormity of time.” Sweet Jesus that’s laying it on thick.

For LeBron loved sports so much that he gave his one and only tweet, so that everyone who believes in basketball will not perish but have eternal NBA playoffs.

Delaware's so small that the concept of dividing it into regions seems illegitimate, no matter how sensible it might be.