1) I worked for a child abuse prevention program. It was my first professional job out of college. I’d been there a few months and thought I was doing well when we got a new “big boss” (my direct supervisor’s supervisor). She was out to get to me from the moment she met me.

Hahahaha! This is the best!

This. All of this.

I would call that “winter” themed, not Christmas

Jeez! It’s not like they previously had pictures of the nativity or Baby Jesus or the big ass star. Calm your tits, Christians!

I, too, had heart surgery as a child. I used to tell people that my mom, in a cocaine fueled rage, tried to chop me open with a butcher knife. She often left black eyes and bruises on my arm it wasn’t that far fetched.

It’s just fucking paper anyway.

Eyes open kissing = no trust

I love this so much, but I’m having trouble sounding out Caucasiangst in my head.

McSteamy ♨

You win the internet today!

Me too. I’ve been here for like 2 years. Still grays. (I think it’s 'cuz I’m not witty.)

My friend and I took our kids trick or treating as “Lazy, Crazy Moms."

Yes. All of this! My son wants to play with his little sister’s toy. He has ask if can, and she says no, he has find something else to play with. He has to respect her “No” and vice-versa.

Well, Frankenstein, obvy.

OMG. I’m drooling.

Selfie stick?

Ew!