God, I fucking love this.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LONZO: HAVING A BALL WITH FATHER OF THE YEAR

Unconventional Punctuation Stuffed Inside Of A Pun Stuffed Inside Of An Allusion: This Headline Is A Massive Turd(ucken Of Wordplay)

On a serious note (sorry Deadspin) I worked at a place where the culture changed and the work day became strict and boring, so morale suffered. All the talent left for competitors, with many recruiting the coworkers they liked to work with. Nobody wants to put up with a shitty work environment unless they have to.

He’s not lying. It was by choice, it was just not by HIS choice. The rest of your explanation is spot on. Can’t star you though, because you’re currently at 69.

To be fair, jukeboxes suck ass. Especially now. Fucking ASCAP/BMI made the bar-owned carefully curated jukebox a fucking huge bill just waiting to happen, now it’s the same shitty way way overpriced piece of shit internet MP3 jukebox everywhere you go. 

I wonder what this Jabroni’s take is on taking dumps on company time?

Every day I clock in, drink my coffee and then proceed to the bathroom to take 20 minutes for a leisurely shit.

BINGO! Which this guy won’t even get to play when he’s in a nursing home.

During a practice lunch interview, a coach chided her for ordering cranberry juice, saying it could be interpreted as a sign of a urinary-tract infection, she recalls.

“Melania knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That’s what I was talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said.

But we still don’t know, fundamentally even, what constitutes a catch?! I feel like there are other more pressing areas in the rule book to clean up.

still allowed by the NFL: jumping over the shark

Imagine if we’d have actively seduced Cousins to join the team.

Does anyone else have a small issue with describing any multi-millionaire ballplayer as ‘working class?’ Just me?

95 16HR

Well that was an easy one; our fans just don’t like Jose. He’s some kind of swarthy Latin and keeps mashing dingers every time we throw at him. But mostly he’s swarthy.

I could even, maybe, go a step further, in saying that he isn’t speaking for himself (as you indicate, he may not be particularly RAYCISS, in a forward or substantive way), but speaking on behalf of “the fans” who may or may not understand why that tannish fellow just doesn’t sit quite right with them. It’s sort of…

Yeah, my take for pretty much all sports is that if you love to hate a guy, you would probably want him on your team (assuming that hate is based on him hitting dongers or playing great defense and not based on him doing reprehensible things off field).

We try to get gritty players that work hard every day and give their best effort every day. Our fans seem to like that and respond to it.