Seriously. That guy can never play on that court again.

This might be your least controversial position.

Another what? 

Who on Earth implied that?

I mean, okay but I really enjoy crafting so can I still make a paper-mache cow to engage in intercourse with?

Absolutely true.

I suppose I would have to have some sort of paper-mache cow to engage in intercourse with. Or perhaps drive up in a Subaru?

FAHK!

What if I dress up as a gay cow?

If people who weren’t voting out of rage went to the polls then maybe the rage votes wouldn’t carry so much weight, yeah?

Ah yes! The “uninformed voters would produce a worse outcome than only extremists voting!” argument! It combines all the virtues of snobbery with a truly staggering level of blind assumption!

Get some speakers to blare the Peter Gunn theme and I’m 100% in!

Man, can you imagine if everybody, like, voted??!?!

Okay, now I need a detailed explanation of which situations specifically call for pie.

There are important voices that have no access to legitimate spaces. Be nice if we, as a society, could do something about that...

You joke but I have very little feeling in my hands and directly manipulate food on the grill pretty often. Sometimes it’ll look like a mild sunburn the next day and there’s rarely hair on my hands by the end of the summer but I bet my hands are more sanitary after that process!

But I can still just put the knife I dropped on the ground in the fire for a couple seconds rather than actually washing it, right?!?!?

This is a tough one because, while having underground spaces for art and music is kind of important and a lot of them have been swept up in the aftermath of this, the people who run these DIY spaces often develop a low-level cult type situation which can get predatory and gross pretty quickly.

dude.

So akvavit then?