LIKE A LAWN WHEN IT’S WATERED

Nothin’ like a good insinuation-of-two-year-old-performing-fellatio-like-her-slut-mom joke!

Last year for my sister’s graduation, my mom rented a rooms in an AirBnB specifically because the old farm house was advertised as haunted. It wasn’t a scam; the older couple who lived there 100% believed in their ghost and told us many stories about her.

That episode has haunted me for years. It’s almost comforting to know someone else feels the same way.

I have yelled at my mom for not just clenching for another day

Very devious, though.

Yeah, they’re pretty great :)

Um yep I was home for a visit last summer, and went into my mom’s dresser to borrow a pair of socks.

My birthday is April Fool’s Day.

They’re paranoid that dudes will think they’re baby-crazy and hunting for sperms

I know this is like a week later... but I’m a 5’11” woman and I concur. I have to sit up straight in most bathtubs, so my tits are either completely out of the water, and thus freezing, or floating weirdly right on top. Fuck baths.

I graduated high school like the week before camera phones became a thing, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Because for white people, fatness is associated with being lower class/ “white trash.” Class dynamics within whiteness get really vitriolic, but are a bit more hidden (and, obviously, less historically fraught) than racial dynamics.

My primary concern is that my stomach would burn to a crisp instantly, having never seen the bright light of day

“I’m not really sure why Black Jack’s villainy has to be psychosexual in nature; can’t he just be a good, old-fashioned, power-abusing occupier?”

Saaaame! When people tell me I look like someone they know, it’s always a hair color/body type thing.

I mean, you could have asked him out. Since you shot down his offer, he probably felt rejected.

Dougal is married.... but his wife holds down the fort at his manor somewhere and they rarely spend time together, and Jamie says at one point that they're both cool with that arrangement. So your point about Dougal's marriage advice holds, but also Dougal got to the "hashing out their own way of being married" point…

"it also bans people from buying insurance plans through the Affordable Care Act that cover abortions"

And necklace