When you’re at work, just think about how you’re literally getting paid to poop. You’ll relax and you’ll be excited to do it again. “I made $5 for dropping a deuce today!”

Exactly. I buy men’s razors and shaving gel since they work so much better, too.

I also base my social awareness on reality shows. Like, have you ever noticed that every group of people contains exactly one gay guy? Weird.

My takeaway is that Danny’s career must have really nosedived if he couldn’t afford to buy updated furniture or redo the house in the past 20 years. In the heyday they were always making new walls when the girls drove through them, redoing then undoing the basement for a record studio or for Uncle Joey’s bedroom. Then…

I’m a cop in an area with plenty of rural spots and I have no problem with someone doing this. Here’s what I ask people to do: call 911, put on your flashers, and turn on your interior light. At that point, it’s very clear to me that you acknowledge the stop, aren’t trying to run, and recognize my need for safety.

OR they are over the age of 35 and just can’t let a sentence go without proper punctuation because they weren’t raised that way. Cher excepted because she has the soul of a teenager I suppose.

“Wall Street takes at least three years to recognize that a once-popular retailer who made their name producing relatively affordable well-made basics will tank when they flip off their customer base and shift to weird unflattering trendoid pieces of shitty quality and astronomical prices.”

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Dicks one time, but it was the ‘80s and things were weird back then.

On Friday he targeted Colorado Springs.

If you spent most of your life away from your family because you travel for your job, you would be pissed if one of the main perks of that situation was lessened/taken from you after already being incurred.

OK this is a legit tip but you might be surprised how little work you’re saving:

Here a few more

I will never understand how Don’t Trust the B- died while 2 Broke Girls lives on (ilu, Kat Dennings, but no). It’s a fucking travesty.

They are not legalizing it, they are decriminalizing it. Which means addicts who are caught with it won’t fear jail time, which means that the focus can be more on health and rehab as opposed to imprisoning them.

The stupidity of this comment is actually amazing.

These are the same idiots (read: racists) who are all terrified of the idea of Sharia Law. What the fuck do you think prayer in school is? A slippery slope to imposing your religion on others. I’m sure there are conservative politicians that would be perfectly happy with us shifting toward a theocracy, as long as it’s…