You are a public employee providing a public service, legal under the law. If you can’t do your fucking job quit and get another one you fucking asshat. You are not exempt from the requirements of your positon because you are a “christian”. And I use that term lightly. You make Jesus weep.

I spent the entire ride from Shea to Qboro Plaza drinking beers and kissing my new boyfriend in between the cars and it was amazing (also the car we had been in was about 120 and stuffed with sweaty teenagers). 7 years later and still going strong.

That just made me cry. If anyone ever yelled at my aunts or mother for speaking spanish and making them cry, I would fucking deck them.

Pro tip... Never under any circumstances hire a good looking nanny. Hire Brunhilde the large, strapping, brutish looking woman, preferably in her mid 40’s and gay. Why these people keep hiring good looking 20 somethings to look after their kids I will never understand.

I think someone at Whole Check is just trolling it’s moronic shoppers at this point. Sort of like when Kimmel sends people to Chochella to ask them about the hot new band Poopie Pantalones.

My holes are stretched from years of wearing heavy earrings and gauges. So yeah, suck it if you think I’m taking the plastic backs off. It’s the only way they’ll stay in my ears anymore.

Biden/Sanders... Sanders/Biden 2016! I would be so happy if Joe ran. I can’t stand Clinton. Sorry, I know I’m supposed to be rah rah for Hillary but I just can’t. She’s got so many problems not the least of which is being a Clinton. I guess I’m a bad feminist.

Laundry. Do your laundry people. Send it out, do it yourself, whatever. If you are traveling for more than 5 days you gots to wash your skivvies if you don’t want to pack like a Kardashian.

I thought the headline said Buffet. Not much different I suppose.

These don’t even have recycling holes! I refuse to throw trash in the street. Even cigarette butts.

These things suck. They just put them in my neighborhood. Touching the handles are disgusting. The opening is too small. You can’t just toss a piece of garbage in as you walk by. Some of my neighbors shove their small bags of trash into the cans because we don’t have garbage bins on our city block. They get stuck and…

There used to be one on Davie Rd down the street from Nova Southeastern. But that was 15 yrs ago. I would have thought the general lack of well being in FL would have exponentially raised that number years ago.

Sick of all these idiots getting to abuse painkillers with no questions asked. Meanwhile I live in constant pain and terror and can’t get a 5 MG Vic to save my life. I’m harassed by doctors because they think I want to use pills to get fucked up or that I doctor shop or some kind of stupid shit. I hate painkillers.…

I’m gonna fan girl out for a hot minute and say I fucking love Foxygen! Blows my mind every time.

V.C. Andrews was amazing. I think I read every single one of those books when I was a kid. Steamy and terrifying.

And One Million Morans can go fuck themselves.

Lesbians are awesome. Chobani not so much. It really is the Devil’s yogurt.

Home sweet home... ain’t nowhere to go. I hate it pretty much anywhere else. And I’ve been everywhere.

Who brought you to Chicago? Jesus

How bout you shove that sentiment right up your fucking ass? I’m from here, born and raised. I don’t claim NYC is superior to anywhere else. It’s my home and I won’t leave it til I’m dead. Gentrification has sucked the life out of my city. Chinese billionaires. AIRs (artists in residence, from Wisconsin whose parents…