You can’t forget what you’ve never even heard about before.

This guy also probably blames “a pack of rabid animals” for stealing his neck.

I can see it if the shark picture is old and not recent...

“You sit there, and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16 - AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHIPPED YOUR ASS!” — Steve Austin

Allegedly, both Yordano Ventura and Andy Marte were under the influence in their separate car crashes. I think that’s more the root cause than whatever the conditions may be in the D.R.

Livingston clearly came up with the “Until they decide what to do about the stain on the game, I abstain.” line before he actually thought through this plan, right? It’s like coming up with the name of the movie before writing the actual movie.

Who Pooped The Bed? is the unquestioned leader for worst episode ever.

I’ve never met someone who was high who talks like that. It sounds more like someone who has their head shoved firmly up their own ass. The worst is when a bad writer thinks they are a good writer.

What else did you expect from Pope Peter Stormare?

Catholics should be used to consuming the same bullshit year after year. Why would Notre Dame Football be any different?

Bill Hicks’ ghost would like to have a word with you.

TWO MOTHERFUCKING BAGS OF DORITOS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, BITCH.

Harvard Releases Player Health Recommendations That The NFL Will Likely Ignore

I think Christopher McCandless would like to have a word with you. Dying of starvation in the wilderness seems like a long, brutal way to go.

In the special, it shows David Blaine trying to learn the secret of a dead magician who turned his stomach into a living aquarium. So David Blaine kept the frogs alive while stored in his stomach and then regurgitated them.

The National Anthem is the best time to go for a bathroom break.

Seattle Mariner.

Counterpoint: Jezebel’s coverage has been truly terrible. They have literally blamed everyone they possibly can except the candidate that failed to persuade the public that her vision of America is better for the country than an old, hollowed out pumpkin festering in the sun too long after Halloween. In terms of a…

Mike Wallace is good again, which is a grave injustice. You don’t get to suck shit in Miami and Minnesota and then magically become a deep threat again once you join the Ravens.

Can this be shared on Jezebel so we can have people ask what this abusive man did to this poor woman to push her to that point?