Trying any CHILD as an ADULT is...sorry, what’s the word for the completely irrational act of treating something as if it were something it’s not? I’m going to drink this desert sand like it’s wet. I’m going to read this strawberry jam like it’s a book. And the attempted (and failed, by any reasonable assessment)…

You were a kid in the 90s NOT buying Calvin & Hobbes or Foxtrot compendiums? Da fuck is wrong wit you?

How bout I donate $10 to Fudge Cancer and torrent this at home (already own the blu-ray)?

I think an effort should be made to calculate a reasonable $ value of an American citizen’s vote. Given how important you all claim “Democracy” is to you, I would suggest it be relatively high - at least in the $10,000-100,000 range. That way you’ve got a dollar value you can sue for when your vote is stolen, and a…

I like Ricky from The Trailer Park Boy’s metaphor better: “It’s like getting two birds stoned at once.”

I had a dream about a nuclear holocaust happening recently, and the part that stuck most is that I was FURIOUS that I hadn’t died in the initial blasts.

I liked it!

Aside from the obvious, there should be no greater crime for an elected official to commit than voter suppression/election fraud. I’m talking lifetime imprisonment.

“Hell, if we’d had that attitude when we started the country we’d have never started the country. Jefferson wanted to declare the abolition of slavery in the Declaration of Independence. If he hadn’t been swayed to drop it and leave that fight for another day, the south wouldn’t have voted to pass it and we’d still…

Hate to get conspiratorial here but I feel like Wal-Mart is going to get FAR more than $29,000 worth of media buzz over this...

To be fair (to these fucking idiots) it is pretty standard practice for a lawyer (or in my case, paralegal) to act as a director/officer/member/shareholder during the formation and organization of a company (or whatever type of legal entity it is) and then immediately resign. It makes the paperwork a lot easier.

I think I just invented the “barf take”.

It’s like if you had terminal cancer but refused to treat it because you’d have to miss some time at work.

It’s hard to imagine people not wanting to punch him in the face his whole life, but yeah, it doesn’t seem like it.

This is just the beginning of what people need to see. As horrible as it would be - as much as I don’t need to see them to know what’s right - pictures of the aftermath of Sandy Hook or any of the THOUSANDS of mass shootings that have happened since should be EVERYWHERE. See how tough people talk about their NEED for…

On Japanese Twitter it’s “Me Rikey!”

My father has 14 siblings and when people used to make this tired old stupid fucking joke with my Nana, she used to say, “Well that only accounts for 15 times!”

I couldn’t help but respect G-Dubs a little for looking like he kinda liked it.

I am a million percent behind the don’t call the police on black people for no good reason. Dunkin’ Debbie was majorly wrong to do that and we all know the potential consequences could literally be deadly. I’m at the point where if I saw a black person in the process of actually committing a property-crime, I wouldn’t…

Holy fuck, what a load of crap.