I seriously assumed at first, second, and third reading that the first one was some sort of autocorrect issue. The rest was clear enough. My bar is low.

Then you are part of the problem. Here's your cookie.

/hands you a giant pile of punctuation

Yeah it is way better for humanity and certainly more ethical to kill immucompromised people with measles and whooping cough.

I don't have a favorite system but that's still super funny.

I want to slap this person. Hard. How fucking repellent.

Yeah. I have had 4 surprise you are pregnant and now that I'm actually trying and failing it is taking a toll.

I bought a pack of 40 obv strips, 10 preg for $20 on Amazon. This is my first month using them, but the brand is BFP and had good reviews if you want to look into trying strips again.

That’s a “your vagina” issue not an “all vaginas” issue.

I tried a couple of these then switched to test strips. I have a short and regular but uneven cycle. I have a full two weeks between ovulation and period but I ovulate about 7 days after I start my period. I go through eggs like whoa apparently. I am currently waiting to take a pregnancy test next week and we will see…

This would be my hill to die on. As in, you can be married to me or you can write this reference. And if marriage is the choice, then serious long term counseling to address the fact that he even wanted to.

Why don't you fuck right off with your tone policing? Thanks!

The secret to winning is to have fast births. A bright smile and a slightly condescending tone with “Oh mine were only 4.5 and 2.5 hours. But I walked during labor, you should try it!”

This is why you should adopt my patented Linda Blair style of childbirth. Clenched teeth, deep growls from behind those teeth, and the willingness to be a giant scary bitch are key. Simply ignore any nurse that annoys you, up to and including tearing off blood pressure cuffs when they keep turning the fucking machine…

So you think giant intelligent mammals should be living in tiny concrete pools? Because honestly, the content of Blackfish is irrelevant when they are restricting the habitat of these animals so severely.

I appreciate that but there are only three basic plots. Person vs Person, Person vs Nature, Person vs God. So there is joy in finding compelling ways to explore these. The whole series is really complex and for their original age group, quite sophisticated. A good director and veerrrry careful use of CGI could create…

This is not a reboot. A Wrinkle in Time is a classic tween (ugh that word) book. It hasn't been done. You should read it. It's a great intro to philosophical hard sci fi.

Shhhhhhh. This is special.

I believe the first Matrix was pre-transition for both and Lana came out sometime in the middle? They are important in that they are pioneers of the super famous coming out. But they came up through the ranks still living as men, so regardless of internal struggle, they probably benefited from that.

The Wee Free Men is a must must must. I've read it a billion times and I still laugh til it hurts. The Tiffany Aching books (part of Discworld) are my favorites. His last finished book was the last in the Tiffany series. I sobbed for days.