Right? Because you know if he says he’ll always hold love for her, which is what normal people get to say, then it will be all over headlines.

but why on earth is her head hovering so high above him in that second pic?

Forget hearing it from tabloids, it was my mother that bugged me the most. She’d been side-eyeing my weight gain all the second half. I had a summer baby and was hugely swollen. I gained 30 actual lbs which is a bit more than necessarily but peed away like 15 lbs in the first postpartum weeks. This was a problem for…

He has 30 minutes to move his cube, right?

Riiiight.

Ferrari LaFerrari meet Crusher TheCrusher.

I admire Pence for coming up with this common sense solution to a very real problem.

Everyone involved knows but just can’t outright say the deal was she gets to have as much power and stick her thumb in as many pies as she likes because she’s the only one who can handle her dad when he’s sundowning, right?

I love your wife and I don’t even know her (and you’re not so bad either!). I would have said hell no, too. My mother in law’s idea for the shower was a LINGERIE PARTY... with a bunch of super Catholic church ladies. I was horrified, and if I hadn’t been anti-shower to begin with, that would have done it.

My mother actually asked my wife if she wanted to come to my hometown so that my mother could throw a shower for her, with all my mother’s friends. In my mom’s mind, regardless of the fact that neither of us wanted to make a big deal about the wedding and wanted none of the parties that tend to accompany weddings,…

Ban the wedding registry. Seriously. With the average age of people getting married slowly getting higher and higher and a majority of women (because that’s who the registry was originally for) have already lived on their own for a number of years anyway, wedding gifts and registries are a fucking joke for all the…

Go to the gift table, leave a card saying “What a beautiful day! I hope you enjoy the gift!”, then take half a dozen cards off their gifts, and scatter them.

Teenage boys in trench coats have lost some cachet the last 18 years or so.

I don’t actually know who Cory Gamble is, but I know to my core that he can do better.

I also feel like, if you’re conning people, why are you taking this risk? Just show them silicone, inject them with saline, make up a story about it settling. Or some shit. Conning is all in the story right? So why risk KILLING people when you could just as easily lie better.

My only concern is whether or not they let him access Twitter from prison. Honestly, that would make all this worth it.

That’s a bummer. Not only could she reveal damning information, but Sally Yates is well-known for ending her testimonies by smashing fruit with a hammer. Who doesn’t love that?

Does anyone else read this to the tune of “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?”