I tell my boyfriend all the time that if I die I’m gonna hang around and cock-block him as a ghost.

Yup. Your ass is better off single than shackled to some man-baby who needs you to wipe their ass for them. Heteronormative society telling you otherwise is 100% bullshit.

I’m glad SOMEONE got it!

Yeah, there’s a lot of inequality in the tipping system. To a bartender who works full time and get’s a lot of tips, they do quite well even with a few bad tips but to a part timer, who only works “peak” times, every tip is important. Also, the base wage for tipped positions can vary quite a bit. Some states, you only…

Unfortunately I think that’s why a lot of marriages are doomed before they even start, people have a preconceived notion of what marriage is supposed to be. Especially men, who tend to be more narcissistic than women since we are conditioned to be that way. I'm just really glad to see all these comments from like…

Entertainment value is subjective. Some people play sports. Some people paint. Some people get off on being withholding. Some people like to torment the fast food workers.

The only thing that could make it better is he if turned out to have an Ashley Madison account.

Now I’m just hearing Sloop John B with douche in the lyrics. Hoist up the Douche B’s Sail, see how the douche sail sets, call for the douche ashore let me go home...

I can’t see past my mustard privilege.

from last night’s true detective blooper reel

People were talking shit about Obama's tan suit but Ted Cruz is walking around like three different 8 year olds trying to sneak into an R rated movie. This country......

Because, he's busy telling me that I don't deserve to have a family of my own, that I would be a bad influence on children, that being raised in a heterosexual household is the best option, that it shouldn't even be legal for me to be married, yet his kid's perfect-before-the-lord heterosexual upbringing didn't stop…

Fucking Alabama — the new Broadway musical/sequel to Damn Yankees! Starring Kristen Chenowith, John C. Reilly, Tyne Daly, and introducing a shit-stained bath mat as Governor Robert J Bentley.

Some people are just not down with the oral sex. It's sad.

1. Apologies on the dearth of blowies (unless you get a massive amount of promotions)

Seriously... this is like the taboo-ness equivalent of doggy style for the kind of people committed to using the rhythm method.

we need to all discuss how thie steampunk crumpet thing would work. right now. this is the conversation to have, yall.

In 10th grade Drama, I got the "Most Improved" award. Should I send that to Kanye, since he was slightly less of an asshole this time around?