Cosigned. My mother has BPD and my relationship with her is enormously complicated. I’ve chosen not to cut her out of my life, but I keep her at arm’s length for my own emotional sanity.

I don’t know but I’m always wondering too. Honestly Jez’s articles about abusive mothers and the comment sections with shared stories are always really validating for me—but at the same time, it makes me so sad. It seems like for a site about women, we should maybe also be wondering why so many mother/daughter…

I wonder the same thing. I notice that in my extended family, baby boomers are both abusive toward and likely to say they were victimized by both their parents and their children. I’ve seen that in my mother, 2 mothers-in-law, a step mother-in-law, a father-in-law, and at least two aunts. From that generation, that…

Just... reading... ALL. THE. COMMENTS. I wanna know something.

sweet Jesus I am glad I am not the only one whose abusive parent is Captain Charisma to everyone else.

nice to meet you “fat whore,” my name is “stupid bitch.” NO ONE would believe me about my mother either.

All aboard the Borderline Personality Mother Train! I hear you. It’s terrible. My mother has that all wrapped up into a bundle with extreme conservative Christianity and also now dealing with dementia. I talk to her on the phone maybe once a week. I have to brace myself for it. I moved out at 18, moved thousands of…

Do all families do this with Borderline people? I refuse to do this in my family with my aunt but I’m the only one.

The not inviting is the easy part. Preparing for and dealing with the inevitable anger from other family members, though, is the hard thing.

Your sitch sounds a bit like mine. My advice—it’s YOUR day. Only invite people who make you happy. It’s just not worth it to have people there who don’t 100% have your best interests at heart. Neither sets of parents were at our handfasting. We took his mom out to dinner later, and I took great joy in telling my own…

I’m a million miles away from getting married (am probs destined for cat-lady-ness) but I would be terrified as to how to handle the situation with my toxic mother, from whom I’ve become almost completely estranged following emotional abuse towards me and physical and emotional abuse to my dad.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

No, they’re Asian, though I’m guessing a certain number have Spanish blood due to conquests. Just as a lot of Mexicans (and other Latinos) have a mixture of Spanish and Indian blood. Which is why I sometimes can’t tell if someone is Filipino or Mexican (especially if they have a Latino name, which, a lot of Filipinos…

Um, no. Hooking up, at least in my day, was just making out and maybe oral sex. Sex was not included in hooking up. Sex was sex.

I dated a guy for almost the entirety of high school. We went to college together. Broke up less than two weeks after college started.

Sounds like code for “I’ve never had sex” to me too. If he IS telling the truth, then it’s code for “I am very very bad at sexin’.”

Oh. I was joking, but now I feel sad and uncomfortable.

Of *all teens*? This isn’t a survey of 18-year-olds. How many 13-year-olds have been in a romantic relationship?

Hm, seems counter to this study though?

This is like every other study out there debunking the idea of a hookup culture; the vast majority of college students are not engaging in “hookup” behavior, and will have only one or two partners throughout college.