For real, what is it with kids and wanting to, like, nibble their hands and feet and stuff? Especially when they've just been washed. I don't even have any, and I get that oddest of maternal impulses sometimes, with children I like. It is the weirdest thing!

I always tell them they look delicious, but they keep saying, "Mommy, we're not food!" (They really do.)

I know ediorial staff has nothing to do with ad placement/products but I find this hilarious

Yeah, it's uterus, not uteryou.

If everyone kept asking me about my ex-husband ten years later, I'd lose my shit.

Nah. Reign goes with a megalomaniac set of kids, like, Titan and Isis. Rain goes with a hippie set of kids, like River and Sky. Neither way does it go with Mason and Penelope. Something like Otis goes with Mason and Penelope, it is a retro/trendy set.

Seriously. Kanye is the most metro dude ever. As if he'd have body odor. He smells of unicorns and Givenchy fragrance, duh.

Scott is awesome, and you are wrong. Just wrong.

Jennifer Aniston has never even been pregnant, but she still gets pretend dumped once a month while pretend pregnant in tabloid world. Cause you can't just be normal dumped.

Everyone gets dumped after a pregnancy...and during the pregnancy...and right before the pregnancy-kids are total relationship killers apparently.

Guys, the decorating scheme disagreement is crucial. I've nearly divorced my husband a million times because of his commitment to chrome in design. He also wanted a fucking bean shaped pool. I may have thrown stuff at him for that one.

It's John now, Life & Style. Get with it.

tabloids need to learn how to write better fan fic.......also their motto should be: tomorrows celebrity gossip - today

Guaranteed there's an earlier draft of the script with pie instead of cookies.

About as believable as Andrea from 90210.

"I LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S COOKIES"

When I saw the preview, my reaction was "If I were her I'd be more freaked out as to why there was a 25 year old dude in my high school class."

So, Huckabee is saying that someone with an MBA couldn't possibly know how to fix a car, and that "good old boys" (whatever the fuck that means) are incapable of earning advanced degrees? Good to know. As long as everyone knows their place - as he sees it - then everything will be A-OK.

On paper, Beyoncé is the poster child for Huckabee's "Bubba culture" (that's what he called it on The Daily Show last night) values:

It's not even just that these are two examples of equally corrosive cultures. One of these people sings songs about contracting STIs and wanting to have sex with minors. The other, at least for the most part, sings songs about consensual relationships between adults that don't harm their participants beyond possibly…