Dozens of men in that frat are awful, yes. Compared to thousands at the university who are (presumably) not. And again, just look at all the coverage about how awful those men are. Nobody accepts them. Our culture doesn't support them.

I'm confusing nothing. You've made an error in reading that post. Color is used as a verb. I do not allow gender [noun] to color [verb] my evaluations.

I'm wrong about a lot of things. Pretty much all the time.

But... it's not. If I walk into my office and ask people about "turning a girl straight", every person in the building will give me the evil eye because that's a thought it's actually evil to even entertain. Every song and book and tv show where the girl says no falls into one of two camps: she's not actually…

No, I am not referring to this specific article. In this case, it's pretty clear that the guy's a steaming pile of shit and a murderer.

I'm not a victim of anything. I have heaps and heaps of failures as a human being. I'm actually not a very good person most of the time. I make a lot of very selfish decisions.

I do not view women the way the common theory of rape culture says men view women. None of my friends, male or female (or even the handful of trans folk I've met recently) view women the way the common theory of rape culture says men view women.

I said right up at the front that this was a journey through my head. This is how things look to me. This is what I do and do not understand. At no point did I say that I was right about anything.

Most men do follow the rules, and most violence is perpetrated by men. You're right.

So then an ally is supposed to accept things they don't believe? THAT is bullshit. You can't support or be in favor of or be against something you don't think is real.

See, you're doing the thing that I still don't get/believe.

If voting in favor of equal pay, complete and unrestricted access to reproductive health care, and stronger punishment and longer statutes of limitations for crimes against women doesn't make me an ally, well then shit. You might have too narrow a definition of an ally.

I believe an instance of it when it's mentioned. Oh, that happened to you? Shitty.

Alright, fine. This is as good a place as any. Let's go on the trip. Rape culture, not all men are like that, not all women are like that, generalizing genders this, discriminating without cause that, rightfully afraid because x, exaggerating dangers of y... the whole darn thing. Let me walk you through my head…

You're going in a WHOLE different direction than I'm talking about. I didn't say the letter writer was or wasn't innocent or guilty of anything.

If you're not providing a source or a statistic, it is implied (and I think obvious) that you are the source. Look at some of the ways I could talk about peoples' height (I've never actually been to New York):

It's tedious and unnecessary to source everything back to yourself. If I tell you that "most fast food is low quality" (or flip it and say "most fast food is better than people give it credit for") it is obvious that I'm not citing a study, so it's equally obvious that my data must be my own. It's not necessary or…

I just find most women to be boring.

So you're saying... he's not a very fun guy?

My opinion on the matter is both inconsequential and likely to start an argument (really, what opinion on this ISN'T though?) so here is a thing instead: