Sorry, what did you say? I was reading something.

Next week on "Failed Tests and Apologies",the Anthony Cromartie story.

To make another Keith is a giant dick joke: obviously size matters.

Yeah, that one takes a while. +14 years ago.

One device saved the life of a lady in my office. The machines even shout out instructions. It would seem to be inexpensive in the course of many many little league games and little league dues. And almost priceless if it were actually needed. I laughed out loud at Dougie's joke. But defibullators seem to be really…

Pump up the Valium

In keeping with the 80's theme, Cavallari went as some who wasn't, isn't, and wouldn't ever be famous.

Yeah it does. Pick them to win this year. Cellphones.

SEC acedemic all-american

It could have been more prophetic had he been quoting the lyrics to "Hard to Explain".

"Having Keith in the room, makes me feel inadequate."

The staple in the top left attaches the check to your father it takes to get you to RSVP.

By the title, I thought this article was going to include proof of steroid use.

In Naughty America's fast times, players pass a lot of slime.

Removed.

If you see a keyboard that only has a C, V, and Control key; that's Rick Reilly's old keyboard.

Isn't it mandated that they inform schools they are in the area?

That's irrational.

You probably shouldn't help with potty training then.

She obviously doesn't get in an accident every time she drives. So close your eyes and relax. That way when she does (which she will), you won't injure yourself by bracing for the impact.