There’s no such thing as an eclipse, anyway. They’re all done on a soundstage, directed by Kubrick. Every rational person knows this.

Nick Denton wouldve gone blind with me

Judging by how some of the people driving on I25 in Wyoming right now, I have no doubt many are going to stare right at it while enjoying a nice bowl of lead paint chips.

Asking for a friend, Will wanking while looking at the eclipse make you extra blind?

lol thanks for that, it’s fabulous:

Dear Police Unions,

I’m waiting for the SBA to come out with a statement declaring solidarity with United Daughters of the Confederacy in support of keeping the monuments.

Talk about being tone deaf. In addition to what just happened in Charlottesville (and by no way am I blaming law enforcement,) we’ve literally had a summer where every…

Cops are dumbasses, evidently.

What, no more secret service for Trump’s band of deplorables? Gee. That’s too bad.

“Harassed”

You left out the last sentence in that letter to Greeley:

I read the documents from each of the seceding states, yesterday. It cleared up a lot of ignorance on my part. You can argue that many of the soldiers did not care about slavery. You cannot argue that that the civil war was not fought over slavery. It is just inaccurate to call it a war over states rights.

I think that is an entirely reasonable stance to take. It is based on the principle that the preservation of the Union is the most important issue and any others can worked out in the future. It is, by the way, the same stance agreed upon by the Continental Congress in drafting the Declaration of Independence. There…

So it will be like Paula Deen’s restaurant, but with less poop.

Kinda scary how the slaveowners of the 1860s sound eerily similar to the Reaganites of today, eh? “If you take away our trickle down economics, there will be no more jobs!”

The biggest states rights beef is still slavery. They want it all back the way it was and the hell with progress.

Chick-fil-a should be required to put one by every takeout window. Penalty for hiding their true colors

TGIFascists

Of course not, they would have to admit they were wrong.