This pseudo-franchise of live-action remake/prequel/ripoffs has wasted some truly astonishing talent. There's got to be some kind of record involved for roping in Tim Burton, Sam Raimi, Kenneth Branagh AND Jon Favreau (twice!) to each make some of the most studio-controlled pieces of blandness I've ever seen.

The fact that it's a remake OF a 90's genie movie would make it all the juicier.

Everything I've heard about King Arthur sounds like the textbook definition of studio meddling, so I'm hesitant to hold that one firmly against Ritchie.

HanYASSSholeSolo, more likely.

Actual Cannibal Spaceman Spiff?

As well as air shield combinations with the security of your average bag of luggage.

What's a ninja?

Even just after watching the movie, I could only remember them as Iron Man 3 Kid and Kings of Summer Dude.

*Academy Award winner EDDIE REDMAYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Just stop."
The A.V. Club

He also lobbied for the role of Jar Jar in The Phantom Menace, but backed out from consideration when he learned Lucas wanted to make the character CGI.

Johnny Depp already played Michael Jackson twelve years ago. Though they had him running a chocolate factory instead of singing for some reason.

(Shyamalan spoilers ahoy) You mean like how Split was a tie-in with Unbreakable?

"[Kristen will] presumably realize that she has become just like her shitty father"

*rushes to arsenal to retrieve coat hangers*

If it were five random people in the presidential line of succession, I'd do it at least four times.

"Once you see how good Spider-Man: Homecoming is, you'll never want to leave to come home to your… spider-infested house, man!"

I would love it if he completely forgot to file anything, ran the whole campaign trail, and didn't realize he wasn't a candidate until the day of the election… except for the fact that there is a nonzero chance he could still win as a write-in in that scenario.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

The odds of me watching this are pretty slim.