My favorite way to deal with people like this is to look them right in the eyes (pityingly) and say, “I’ll pray for you.”

You’d only be an asshole if you assigned her and her plus one to the kids table AND invited an entire class of 4 year olds to the wedding AND gave them cake prior to the reception.

“I believe God was standing with me and that’s just my religious belief.”

They already have and Emma Stone is first in line to play Rukundo. If she’s not available though, I think Rooney Mara is down.

Just the part where the protesters get shot...

I am very much about the fortune idea...or like words of encouragement “Yes, now is a good time to burn your office to the ground”

Man. This week alone I’ve learned of the existence of people named Blac Chyna and B.O.B. I’m exhausted.

Look, Alyssa Rosenberg is right, we shouldn’t be sending them dildos. After all, if you give a man a dildo, he fucks himself for a day.

I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats!

PP gets such a bad rap! Yes. They murder babies. Yes. They pull them out kicking and alive and chop them up for parts with no anesthesia. And YES they then sell those parts to satanic cults for rituals or to science to create animal human hybrids for bestiality purposes.

He’s a man, of course he brings up his penis in every conversation.

Your level-headed, accepting and intellectually honest approach to your daughter’s needs upsets my populistic, unsubstantiated beliefs and I’m enraged and terrified of your child’s horrifically serene and healthy upbringing! Also, the word “transgendered” elicits the same reaction so when it’s coupled with the word…

Wow, that’s poor design! At least it’s not like those “cute” bars/cafes/etc where it’s like one door has a picture of a burning tree and the other is a first edition of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

No, the vast majority of us manage to get through life without being prosecuted or punished for criminal acts. Remember that next time you drive 10 miles over the speed limit because you’re in a hurry to get somewhere really important.

Trans-issues aside, we generally need more unisex and single user bathrooms.

So you CAN eat at Chipotle and lose weight!

So clearly the intent is that you NOT FUCK HALF-GIANTS, YOU GODDAMNED PREVERTS.

What the fuck is with all the rules? What is this, Dungeons and Dragons?