Makenna America Great Again

Monday Morning, Moose Mistakenly Mounts Mountain Mascot

The ref was like “I could call this handball, or I could go home to my family tonight... Play on!”

Arjen Robben slipped in the shower. PK awarded.

I can’t believe that someone could be this smugly wrong without doing intentionally.

You can’t let the 20 year old interns you’re chasing see a child seat! Buy your ex-wife a Cayenne, knowing your ex-girlfriend (the nanny) will be the one driving it.

I had a similar problem with a brake line that leaked fluid all over the rotor. Ironically, brake fluid on your brakes does not aid in braking.

So cold, so crisp. This is the top-shelf, single-malt, aged 15 years in oak shade. This is the shade you break out when your friend’s are like “yeah, shade is ok but it’s not really my go-to, know what I mean?” This is the shade you think of 20 minutes after your ex tells you her new guy is a doctor.

Oh god the MeUndies ad could not have been better timed, I’m dying 😂

Listen buddy, this is AMERICA.

The difference is intent, and that’s either impossible or really difficult to prove, depending on which definition of prove you’re using.

I’m really sorry you were forced to think about someone other than yourself for minute or so you skimmed this article. I’m sure the things you consume will ease you through your suffering.

I see your pedantry and raise you a “not to be x, but x” cliche.

“Want your naughty bits to sparkle like an angsty vampire? Stop in at The Family Jewelers today!”

Getting cut off in a car is annoying; getting cut off on a bike can kill you. I’m not saying that’s an excuse for the dipshittery, though.

Totally off topic, but why isn’t that phrase forth and back? How does something come back if it hasn’t yet gone forth?

My grandma used to stomp the brakes at the sight of a turn signal. She’d also brake for green lights. Some people are just too twitchy to trust with two tons of high-speed steel.

Like white soccer cleats. You’d better be the best player on either team or you’re going to get clowned/beat on.

NRAFWPA

Billy is saving all the Christiano fanboy tears to build a swimming pool. Thanks for your donations!