This is awesome! Congrats and Best wishes, and I hope you like really bad (good?) puns.

This guy, man... FUCK this guy:

Champagne Toros is some good shit. Well done, sir - please take this star.

Just one more +1, then I swear I’m quitting

1)Can we replace Thursday Night Football with this?

I’m not interested in your arrangement with your wife.

How would you feel if your wife started telling people in the checkout line that you don’t wipe quite as thoroughly as she’d like? She isn’t wrong, but maybe you’d appreciate her not talking about your shit in public?

Obviously you don’t know anything about knees-iology.

Usually better than the people who wear them.

This is the best haiku of my adult life.

Your analogy game is on point.

FIRE +1

#5 DID NOT PET THE DOG. That dog is serving its country! Dammit #5, respect the sacrifices being made for your freedoms.

You’re not wrong, Walter, you’re just an asshole!

Cherry pop tarts taste like throwing up after drinking too much cough syrup

Truth.

Wait, there was an altercation, in an altercation?

He's definitely a cut above.

Diagnosing a person you’ve never met based on a three paragraph article is proof enough that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Not every dumb thing a person says or does is the result of “mental illness.” For example, there’s you diagnosing a person you’ve never met...

Sometimes you gotta fight fire extinguisher with fire extinguisher.