You didn’t read the damn thing, did you?

Yeah, next season they may have to be the Silver Knights.

Associate Justice Samuel Alito writes, “a more direct affront to state sovereignty is not easy to imagine,”

It took me 18 seconds to read your comment, so I am gonna jot that down as 0.4 hours against your retainer.

For more analysis, we now go live to a bunch of lawyers with too much free time on their hands: the entire Deadspin commentariat.

did you also shoot your editor?

Great shot, but he should be forced to wear it around his neck now.

Joe Jackson remembers. You pussies.

This is the best Deadspin post ever, and I say that as a long-time Deadspin fanboy.

I thought it was because of Simon and Garfunkel and Dustin Hoffman.

Dear Johannes,

50-50-50

Also, pro tip: vodka + capri sun = the best goddamn summer drink

Vodka + Fresca = drunk and not fat. I’m not even a big vodka fan, but man, Fresca came out of obscurity for me with that basic mix.

This could be the whitest comment in deadspin history.

Rum and coke? What adult drinks that? That’s the drink you order when you’re 20 and have no idea what you’re doing.

But it sure tastes like it is

you guys do you but personally when I drink my rail liquor I like to put it in a small glass and drink it real fast

Christ. This reads like a college junior’s introduction to a bar. Ginger Beer is no less a basic ingredient than Coca-Cola. If you have a spirit and you mix it with one mixer, you have yourself a basic cocktail. Maker’s Mark and ginger beer is pretty basic. This is no different than a Jack and Coke. If a bloody mary…

Try crack and everclear, same idea