More importantly, Drew, can you confirm that the Dominican Repulic is *NOT* Texas? Some dipshit from the other day really needs to know.

Especially Houston, the sweaty asshole of the entire continent.

Runs and hides?!?? He kept coming while Glass Joey looks for Beltre to save him from a further ass whipping.

How are you idiots calling this a sucker punch? They’re looking right at each other, Odor winds up while Bautista is himself winding up, and the blow was right in the chin. Do you even know what “sucker punch” means?!

There is absolutely zero support for this headline in this article. Are we just randomly throwing words together now, with the hope no one will notice? Let me try to help:

You’re a complete goddamned moron. “If it’s whole, it’s a side; if it’s chopped up really, really small, it’s a side; if it’s named after something it’s clearly, even though the name is superfluous to the actual item, it’s a side . . . but if it’s somewhat cut (but not too small!) and named for what it is, it is…

Garnishment is what your yankee fucking IRS does when you don’t bow to the imperial masters in Washington, District of Columbia. Pick up a fucking dictionary, yankee dipshit.

I would like to see your Texan bona fides, because you’re wrong. The charging of money does not make something a side. How many barbecue joints have you been in that charge you for Wonder bread or a roll? Are those condiments, too?

Seventh generation Texan here (seriously, no shit), and you’re wrong. Pickles and sweet onions are a side to barbecue. This is not debatable.

No, and fuck you. Bounds are for pussies and yankees.

It has been said that infinite monkeys banging away at infinite typewriters will eventually author the complete works of Shakespeare. Can I assume this is their first draft?

#notallmillennials

25. Salt Lake City (4.5)

The throwing of shit at draftees is deplorable, but demonizing the people throwing the shit at draftees is equally deplorable and represents what was wrong with “people” back in 1968, which is, somehow, “especially” relevant 48 years later, for reasons you fail to expound upon.

What in the ever-living fuck are you even talking about? He said, in the quote you just posted above, that he was supporting the servicemen, not the war, and that he didn’t like the hippies “disparaging those poor guys.” Your “false equivalency” bit is highly ironic.

During Vietnam, there were all kinds of protests. Here were these [servicemen] going over there and dying for a cause - we don’t even know what it was really all about. And here are these young kids, that were free, bitching about it. There’s something wrong with that and with [disparaging] those poor guys. We were in…

How this doesn't have more stars than grains of sand on the floor of the ocean, I'll never know.

Greatest comment in the history of Deadspin . . . nay! In the history of the Triple Dipper!

Wish she’d unleash them boobies, amiright?!

Why do we have to make this so difficult? First it’s “you need to not be selfish and make sure you’re getting your significant other off,” then it’s “but, I mean, if she doesn’t get off it’s none of your business.” Really? Can we not see the inherent contradiction in those sentiments? Can we not just leave it at…