I was born in 1974 and I don’t miss VHS tapes any more than I miss movies squashed into smaller aspect ratios than they were filmed in, or phones with cords, or casual sexism in sitcoms. Not everything that fades away deserves to be missed.

See also: Maxine Waters, Angela Merkel, Greg Popovich, Morgan Freeman, The Obamas

You never cut off Tom Brokaw.

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!

Grandparents? My dad served in Korea.

Dallas Cowboys hold team prayer that there won’t be domestic violence charges against any players this week.

Along those lines, I have always been fascinated by Han Solo saying “I’ll see you in Hell” in Empire Strikes Back. Not only do they have these people whose religion is based on an unseen Force that some people can control and manipulate, but they also have a concept of Heaven and Hell.

I hope my vault is the cryogenic one and not a generational one. But at least I’ve been practicing:

Good thing I’ve been hoarding bottlecaps just in case...

I’m always amazed by dipshit politicians that never show any concern for the military get so concerned about us when gay or trans people want to join us. Anyone that puts on the uniform is my brother or sister, no exceptions.

Sometimes in the evening I hit a little THC and sit in genuine, silent astonishment that Donald Trump is the current president of the United States.

And congrats to all the Cubs fans for getting another moment to pat themselves on the back for feeling bad about how they ruined this guys fucking life all those years ago. It’s ok now, he’s got jewelry.

Jesus, how many times do I have to apologize before you let it go?

He has no point. He just wants her in a controlled environment (i.e. his own show). Also, she didn’t “write a horseshit columnn.” She wrote a feature using words that came out of Minihane’s own mouth and presented it in the context of the Red Sox’s long history of marginalizing large swaths of the city. This wasn’t…

I hope Kirk Cousins goes to another franchise and wins a super bowl and Washington continues to never win anything

In America, we use words like “grit” to describe players who are willing to get dirty and like “captain” for those who will do anything for their teammates.

That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

Shortly after the video made its way onto the internet last Friday, the club confirmed that all four players had been released

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

If you choose to watch playoff basketball instead of playoff hockey then you deserve this season