Liangelo Angeleno No Mo.

That guy in black could’ve used some over armor.

Look, if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen. On second thought, just stay out of the kitchen. Some of you fellas need a diet.

Drew, as a high-falutin’ lawyer, I am here to tell you one whole section of my Torts casebook was devoted to personal injuries where people slipped on banana peels. IT HAPPENS!

The problem is, the host can’t interruptthe 7 football men until they all simultaneously take a bite of turkey leg.

[4 years from now]

Settle down, Neil DeGrasse.

Baseball is definitely a family sport. For example, when my son pumped his fist after he solved a tough math problem, I yelled “no showboating!” and launched a frying pan at his head.

Love me some Jet’s. All those other “pizza” chains can GTFO.

DODGERS WIN! (They didn’t.)

Sorry, I can’t stay to talk because the clock is striking thirteen.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Wow. As an original Crew season ticket holder this infuriates and saddens me. Crew Stadium isn’t exactly Red Bull Arena but when that place is filled to the brim it is a cauldron. Fuck Precourt.

Maybe Joe is saying the pop tax and the blocking-the-plate rule are similar in that both were ostensibly created to “protect health” but both had consequences well beyond the original intent.

“Millennials ruined society with something called the ‘sucker punch!’”

Heh

When I was in college (2000/01 winter break), a girl about my age randomly messaged me. She lived almost a thousand miles away. We got along great, and continued to chat on a daily basis. I was the one who told her to turn on the TV to see what was happening on 9/11, for example.

Oof. If this was anytime within the last 5 years sitting through a Sabres game counts as a civil rights violation.

Real smooth, Jazz.

I would rather be Patient Zero in Ebola: The Game than ever play Monopoly again.