Rooting for the Brownies teaches you not to ever hope for things to change. Whether that be politically, socially, economically, etc.. Nothing changes. Everything is horrible. You will always be let down. There is no God.

Can you test them all for Hepatitis B????

Facts are so evil.

And just like the show you’ve referenced you have mistaken contemporary populist sociopolitical ambivalence for apolitical apathy. Sorry that people who aren’t you suddenly seem to give a shit. I like South Park but fuck their cynical antagonism towards anyone who cares.

Member when the right weren’t a bunch of wounded snowflakes crying about every story that reflects poorly upon them?

Oh Paris. Fairy tales coming true isn’t getting engaged on a mountain top your father bought you, it’s holding the account statement from your student loans servicer and the balance is zero.

Guy From The Leftovers Who Isn’t Jen Aniston’s Husband

So I will just go with max crassness here, but did she buy her own ring?Or was this a sponsored thing? Because Guy From The Leftovers Who Isn’t Jen Aniston’s Husband can’t have that kind of money can he? 

Obligatory:

“One-fourth of Fifth Harmony”

Listen Tom, if aliens show up and vaporize the Earth as a goof, why worry? There’s nothing you could do to prevent it, your incinerated remains would not be able to have an opinion after the fact, and deep down you already know we had it coming.

I’m sorry, but that money was 100% used to build a secret fuck dungeon for Reid and Bigelow and there is no chance those alloys actually exist.

The darkest timeline is that, in the very tiny speckle of time in the entirety of the history of human civilization, aliens make contact with humans, we have an unqualified baby as the leader of the most powerful country in the world.

Or, perhaps they’ve been here all along and know that now is the best time to…

“60 ounces of gummy marshmallow sharks, dry ice, and blue sugar liquid.”

I hate that you spent all of that time regurgitating all of that horse shit, especially given the fact CNN wasn’t the source, Trump’s own dumb shit lawyer was. Also I really wish you Russian shitheads would learn a little better English. During the election your trolls were top-flight. What happened? Trying to cover…

This is classic, textbook “I’m rubber, you’re glue” ism.

This is excellent satire. Although if you really wanted to sell it you should’ve fit in a ‘snowflake’ or ‘cuck’ somewhere.