This is so true. I even have in-house penis, so totally easy access and I still can’t find the time

In The Witching Hour Uncle Julien bats for both teams and the family ghost (who identifies as male) seduces the female witches and Uncle Julien (who is presumably the only male witch in the family tree)  

I read The Witching Hour for a book report in the 7th grade. I left out the sex in my presentation to the class and focused on the family history and the ghost. My teacher said that it sounded interesting and she was going to put it on her personal list to read over the summer.

Because of course he did

It’s so disappointing to meet someone with a large deck and they have no idea how to utilize it

Her chin implant looks like it shifted a bit due to all the frowning. She’ll probably need to go in for a tune up soon

I posted it to Barf Bag but I’m forever grey so I’ll post it here too. This is Little Snookitino’s President Award. The presidential seal is microscopic, Drumpf’s name is nowhere to be found, we did not get a letter and the certificate looks like it was made with Microsoft Word. I’m going to try and find Mini…

Here is Little Snookitino’s President Award. The presidential seal is microscopic, Drumpf’s name is nowhere to be found, we did not get a letter and the certificate looks like it was made with Microsoft Word. I’m going to try and find Mini Snookitina’s President award, it had Obama’s signature, a nice sized seal and…

I couldn’t get the one guy to even let me look at a car, he told me to go home and come back with my husband. I ended up going with the dealer who treated me with the most respect and it happened to be a lady too

back in 2012 I had lost my job and my husband had his hours severely cut. Things got a little desperate and I began looking for work outside of my field and comfortable commuting zone. I eventually found a job but it was in the major city that was almost 2 hours away. The pay was more than my last job and they had…

I can’t take credit for it, I pulled it from another thread but it’s one of my all time favorites.

I entered my marriage with the opposite feeling. I was pretty cavalier. I figured if it didn’t work out then we can get a divorce and it’s ok. Life wouldn’t be over just because I got divorced. My parents stayed in an awful marriage because of the cultural taboo of divorce and I refused to feel that way about it.…

my husband and I watched the entire cutscene video that IGN has, there were a lot of scenes that felt like I was like watching a live action movie. We ended up watching the entire 2 hour and 30 something minute video all in one sitting because the script and acting were so good.

He looks like the dude who plays Loki, I’m way too lazy to type out his long ass name

The only reason I know how to explain this is because my husband (who is highly educated and very often has to explain things to me) did not understand it either, even after I took him through the process he still looked at me with a blank face for a minute

Say it out loud