I'll be brief due to lack of time but ....

I, personally, would not be sexually molested repeatedly for 2 million dollars.

Still bitter over the rejection.

I bet that now everybody who condemned Sandusky feels pretty fucking stupid. Through his charitable works, these "victims" of his now have a secure financial future. He was so dedicated to helping these kids that he was willing to rape them and then go to jail for the rest of his life, just so that they could have…

pictured: the six meritless claimants

It really doesn't matter where the contact occurs on that type of hit, it's all illegal when it's your girlfriend.

I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did:

I can't believe that they would have Champagne stashed away for this. It's not like they were clinching the right to play in a one-game National League wild-card matchup.

What I think would happen if Andy Reid met Baby Andy Reid...

There's a reason their slogan is "it's not delivery it's DiGiorno." It is better than half the carry-out pizza you can get.

"Hell of a run."

This would take care of Anthony Jeselnik. Thank Christ.

The cheerleaders' uniforms are scarier

If he was going to put a team in space, I'd recommend breaking all ties with one of the sadder periods in our nation's history. How about "the challengers" instead?

Haider Zafar's other business partner, Luvvr Upclohs, was, in fact, a suitable partner and the yin to his yang.

You should really work on proofreading your comments, guy.

If I have to hear you say you did this for the Family one more time...

SKYLER. I did all of this—demeaning my players, blowing fourth-quarter leads, creating a toxic environment—for you and the kids. I did it for the FAMILY

Jeez. Probably time to pull the plug on this Schiavo guy.

Sing us a song, you're the Schiano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for some misery
And you've got us feeling like shite