This is a fantastic wedding shit show story. If I was you, I would stop strangers on the street and tell them this story. It’s that good.

Apparently your aunt’s MIL is Sophia Petrillo.

Oh I have the best story about a wedding proposal...

I did not cry. I did, however, start to have one hell of a panic attack once it was time for me to walk down the aisle. As I started to wheeze and get dizzy, my father (who was walking me down the aisle) looked at me and just grinned.

One can accept that death is a natural and necessary part of life and still be sad when it happens. There is no contradiction therein.

It looks like this diner got his... *puts on sunglasses* Just desserts...

Some of my lit students were telling celebrity stories recently, and I happily talked about the time I met Junot Diaz.

Michelle Duggar said transgender people will assault girls in public restrooms. Meanwhile her own son assaulted her girls. The pair of balls that woman has to make accusations like that knowing she had her own predator at home, and he wasn’t gay or transgender, but she’s projecting those crimes onto innocent people.

Kind of appalling to compare anything the Kardashians/Jenners have ever done to intrafamilial molestation. Kylie Jenner getting lip injections =/= a brother fondling his young sisters.

This cult of children hoarders is a 7 layer dip of pure ewww

Travolta + Schwarzenegger + Liotta = WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

I put my foot down on the garter toss, because that shit is gross, but we did a low-key bouquet toss with all unmarrieds, both men and women, single and dating. The best man, my brother-in-law, ended up catching it, and we have the MOST ADORABLE photograph of him and his then-girlfriend looking sheepish and pleased…

Would you like to meet my cousin who let the garter bounce off his chest and fall on the floor?

The first time I caught the bouquet was at an outdoor ceremony, and my then-boyfriend gave me a super cheesy grin and asked “so who’s the lucky guy?” Wow, clearly not YOU, mister.

When my sister caught the bouquet at a wedding, her then boyfriend remade a big show of running from the garter toss. But she was expected to laugh and act like it was fine. Sadly, she did later marry him and they had a horrible marriage, followed by a drawn out divorce. Anyone whose idea of a joke is public…

or “35 year old woman bitter about ex-classmate’s success”???

I fail to get worked up about this. Celebrities lie all the time about their past and women especially lie about their age so they can have a better chance of nabbing decent roles....or any roles period.

BECAUSE POTATO SALAD GUY WAS AN ENTREPRENEUR LIVING THE DREAM BUT THIS MOOCHING BABY SHOULD PULL ITSELF UP BY ITS UMBILICAL CORD BOOTSTRAPS

If a dude can somehow get 55k to make potato salad... I don’t see why a woman shouldn’t get the same amount for having a baby.

I’m not even a fan, but if you look at his tweets saying that he needs his family and asking his friends and fans to write him (with a hashtag of #always keep fighting) and his Twitter handle “I’m trying to do the best that I can,” I would say he is having a genuine crisis of some sort.