Dear Trump Family~

I’m not totally going to trash melania for the sins of her husband. I would be a hypocrite if I did because I told people to not do that with bill and hill.

According to Melania’s lawsuit, she is potentially closed off from “licensing, branding, and endorsement” deals in “apparel, accessories, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, hair care, skin care, and fragrance.”

I keep seeing Trump as a ghost wandering around the White House late at night.

I mean, if you agreed to fuck Trump for his money (dry heave) then it stands to reason there’s pretty much nothing you wouldn’t do for a buck.

I’m weirdly grateful that these people are so bad at dog whistling. “I’m going to make crap tons of money off all you losers taking photos of me.” “I’m calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.” At least we know exactly where they’re coming from, no matter how much damage control…

When his term ends, this is going to be one vilified and embarrassed family.

BUT SHE WANTED CHILDREN TO EAT BETTER AND GET MORE EXERCISE! What kind of monster wants THAT?

Can we all agree that Melania is no captive victim here? She may despise her disgusting beast of a husband, but she’s in on the insanity all the same.  

First ladies have often served to promote style and oftentimes their fashion, decorating, or diet choices have triggered big sales for designers or for nutritional movements. Jackie Kennedy (style and culture) Lady Bird Johnson (environmentalism) and Betty Ford (wellness) all come to mind. But not one ever cashed in…

Was it going to be a bargain basement brand? Because rich people aren’t going to buy her shit.

Daily fucking reminder:

Obama should partner with a manufacturer to release an actual ObamaPhone just to rustle some jimmies.

I don’t get why people want to cut her slack. She’s totally evil too, and complicit in this shitstorm.

They could’ve hired a black model.

Third rule in Latino families: leave your wife after she donates her organs to you.

Ugh, he’s just the most disgusting human being. It doesn’t help that he’s working for Trump who is perhaps the most accurate personification of Mr. Oogie Boogie I have ever seen.

Also, this is filling me with so much glee right now..