Famous people stop evolving at the precise moment they became famous. Tom mentally lives in the 1983-1986 time period because that was a time when there were only a 2-3 summer blockbusters to choose from and high-quality television shows and streaming didn’t exist. 

1) franchise movies all have identical plotlines and catchphrases. That’s what sells to devoted fans and makes money regardless of the release date.

Kris King, who goes to fucking HARVARD, is a prime example of this. She unilaterally declared that autism wasn’t a disability because she (supposedly) has it and she attends an Ivy.

My kid is a grandchild. I'd know if a random stranger took him and every grandchild on earth to see a movie. 

Is dental insurance included at the Moscow troll farm?

Adam Sandler and Kevin James movies make a lot of money even though critics shit on them. I've never met a person who has paid to see those movies, but they obviously exist and I do not want to know what other movies they like. 

You know that mermaids and other Disney characters are fictional, right? Someone did tell you that before you got to adulthood, right? Because you clearly failed your TOEFL exam so I worry. 

And this is what I think keeps happening.

$20 says the parody account is Musk himself. Past behavior and all that!

That’s exactly what is happening. She looks like she was dressed by someone who thinks they know fashion but they don’t. As in, daytime gloves have rules as do evening gloves and strapless shit.

Precisely. Both shows are about bullies using their privilege to get what they want when they genuinely believe they’re doing what’s right.

How else do you explain Melania's hideous wedding dress on the cover of Vogue? It was like she couldn't decide between 13 different designs so she made a Frankenstein monster dress instead. 

Governor Meatball has a point though. Anyone on a fashion magazine cover never dresses themselves. The stylists of the magazines do because they need to uphold relationships with certain designers and they don’t want their covers to look like bargain bin Laura Ashley meets a Pepto Bismol/beauty pageant collision.

But what’s going to be remembered and cherished 50-75 years from now? I get that there are artsy, smaller films around, but studio franchise garbage drowns them out unless they’re really, really, really good.

This right here. I wanted to take my kid to the new Mario movie, and it was gonna cost me $30 for tickets alone for a matinee!

Damian Lewis has so many stories about this. The bulk of his fans had no clue he was British until he’d do press tours in America. And they were all shocked.

And he can literally afford to do that. He just turned 60, and he’s worth $120 million. If he quit now, he could live on that money and never adapt. In 20-25 years, he’ll also bitch that no one recognizes him anymore and his movies are considered “oldies" that didn't age well. 

How else do you explain the bazillion DC/Marvel, Fast and Furious, Mission Impossible, Star Wars, and Star Trek movies with all the same plot lines because there’s nothing left to say?

Also there’s a perfectly legitimate reason why successful British and Australian actors do an American accent so well.

The point of movies is to make money so “being talked about” is irrelevant if no one is paying you.