Your screen name was made for this moment. Have your star.

He’s got a vageyebrow.

Is that a real report? He didn’t have a firm plan on how to handle “everything”? What the hell does that even mean?

That’s some mealy-mouthed bullshit right there. “What’s the plan going forward?” Might as well ask him “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”

I’m here for the ‘he’s just not good enough to warrant a job in anywhere at all in a league that’s employed Trevor Siemian, Brandon Weeden and Brock Osweiler in the past year’ truthers.

Actually this move makes total sense. Experts say an attack at this particular school is likely to involve small arms.

Now that’s some offensive rebounding!

This group of kids can teach everyone a little lesson regardless of personal politics.

Trump may be a liar, but let’s not forget that he is also a complete moron.

Exactly. I stopped fact-checking him a long time ago because of this. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is based on truth, rather it is based on his ideal version of what the truth should be. He’s not trying to mislead us - he actually believes his bullshit. It’s a mental illness.

Trump doesn’t have the metal dexterity to imagine a toy monkey that claps cymbals AND flips.

You guys...I’m starting to think he may not actually be very bright.

yes this is a much healthier attitude than an ongoing comedic series about his progress

I sincerely feel like this is the only couple in the world who should engage in shower fucking. Everyone else is lying to themselves.

Thankfully it wasn’t one of the brother-sister teams.

It is much worse than overcompensation: it is white American masculinity. It is a deep seeded belief that they are “tough” or “badass” or someone who would totally be an action hero if the Muslims- or Mexicans or Blacks or maybe even the Gays!- would just TRY and attack his hometown.

Not only a liar, but someone lying “for effect”

Think you can give a teenager who was in the fucking school when this happened a break on some shock induced hyperbole can’t we?

The shooter was apparently armed with a handgun and a powerful assault rifle. This massacre is therefore a further reminder of how easy it is for someone to get their hands on a weapon that lets them shoot people in a school, or in a house of worship, or a movie theater, or in a nightclub. And we have to decide if…

When you woke up this morning, did you think of yourself as someone who would call the teenaged survivor of a mass shooting a liar on the internet, or are you surprised to learn that about yourself?