I want to warp to November so I can vote this incompetent asshole out of office.

My first response was “Big Brother is still going?” I really didn’t think it was running still, anywhere in the world!

Maybe inappropriate, yet I can’t help but think of this, and Dumbledore’s words of wisdom to Harry: “This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth.  Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad.”

...never use a debit card.  Good advice in all situations.

Your honor, as you can see my client not only checked the box proving consent, but is also a senior citizen, no American over the age of *checks notes* 133 years should be treated this way.

Maybe one reason is he didn’t get away with it? Just a guess. But he did do time - years, in fact.

Who burned down your Shire? Sheesh.

The ITU cited a rule that penalizes athletes who cook up a “contrived tie situation,”

There is no “distance from St. Louis to Ferguson;” Ferguson is St. Louis.  For reasons both arcane and corrupt, St. Louis is made up of 100 or so smaller municipalities.

I had to reread the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs a couple times to make sure I correctly understood what happened.

Your an idiot - Why, never in the Earth’s six-thousand-year history has there ever been a comment so dumb!

Look at the lady in the first row next to Adam Silver. That is serial killer level of chill.

That’s a little ageist. I can think of several places where he might have been swimming then

huh.

The 28-year-old Bulgarian is stuck in a Groundhog Day fugue. Almost every day Dimitrov wakes up, goes to work, and has to play Stan Wawrinka in the first round of a tournament. It’s deeply unpleasant.

Guys, what if Left Shark wasn’t just screwing up her Super Bowl performance?

Katy Perry does. Didn't you read the article?

I heartily encourage everyone to watch that video embedded in the Sportsnet tweet, especially if, like me, your heart is largely filled with contempt and despair for humanity. It’s a nice reprieve from all of that.

Umm, it’s right there in the embed...

He was talking about Family Circus. You seem like more of a Zits reader though