We bought our first house in 2007 with zero down (because 2007). We put money into the house on various projects, but still sold for a profit in 2014. We turned around and bought our new house with the money from our first house, made some improvements, and if we were to sell today, we’d sell for a profit. We were…

I was in a similar predicament when I had my first kid. I used my two weeks or vacation and one week of sick (plus a tiny bit more of vacation I begged to roll over from the preceding year) for maternity leave. And then every subsequent sick day or vacation day was used for the kid sick days or days when her daycare…

Add to this list: professional registrations. I damn near missed renewing my professional license because I didn't get the renewal card mailed to my new address.

I always thought that was a headboard, not a door. Huh, learn something new...

I thought Cher’s hashtag was GOP Kill Shop. I'm a little disappointed that's not what it really said.

Fuckin I-states. Who gives a shit, amirite? Corn? Potatoes? Whatever, fatty.

I’d doubt anyone bigger than a B cup has ever worn a bandeau.

If genitals/genitalia float your boat, you should see a doctor about that.

Next thing you’re gonna tell me is I don’t need synthetic-free tampons.

I’ve been known to wash the “slime” off chicken, pat it dry, and go about cooking it. If it smells, it’s gone. Slime itself isn’t a deterrent. No one’s died from my cooking. Yet.

As long as they keep the Michael Landon hair, I'm fine with this.

Seriously. I'm the last person to defend Kim K, but TIME ZONES people. Save the hate.

I recently went to use the family bathroom at target, but found it was occupied, so I dragged my two young daughters into the ladies room instead. (It’s a bit more convenient to be in the family restroom with them both as opposed to the big stall in the women’s room.) I came out of the ladies room just as a young…

Fuck yes! Then when one of my two daughters has to pee (inevitably) in the middle of dinner at a restaurant, dad won't have the excuse not to take them! YAS!

I might get my double-x chromosomes revoked by saying this, but I gotta agree. If the seat is up, put it down. Let's focus our energies on the real inequalities not this toilet seat nonsense.

I’m reading this at work while eating my lunch: Amy’s Organic Mexican Casserole. I’m not wearing suit (casual Friday = jeans and any season-appropriate Ann Taylor top)

Came here to say this. Please don’t sit on the supercar.

I want to hear gossip about Sister Wives too, but I refuse to put in any effort, like say, googling them. Did the first three finally leave Mr. Douchebag?

I think I love you. I have the same dilemma with yoga. Love the stretching. Love the strengthening. Love building balance. Loathe everything else. My “energy” is fine right as it is, thanks.

Republican abortion argument: all human life is precious.