Thanks a lot, Lori. Thanks for fucking it up for the rest of us. What's the deal with Loris anyway?

A word of caution to public toilet-hoverers out there. You might end up unwittingly peeing down the side of the toilet creating a raging river of urine right in the ladies bathroom. Not like I ever did... especially not during a college tour when a crowd of ten or so women waited to use the stall after me. That would…

Peeing in a sink doesn't require fancy maneuvering. All you need is a glass. Press the rim of the glass around your lady cha-cha and fill er up! Afterwards, marvel at how much urine the human body is capable of holding, and furtively pour in sink.

Deer think cats are fucking delicious, if the Youtube is any indication.

Nicely done.

You can't scare me, I work with children for a living. Until you've had a kid cough directly into your mouth, you haven't experienced true germage. On the upside, I haven't had a cold in a few months. Your body really does adapt to disgusting conditions.

Lindsay has nearly completed her transformation into Kristen Bauer.

How can we be certain the 17 year old isn't an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times? Happens all the time.

As long as Abraham has a basket, he will never be bored. We even taught him to play fetch. Who says you can't train a cat?

I am impressed by Pete's long-ness, but there can only be one Mr Smithers. Sometime I need to measure him when he's all stretched out. He's probably four feet, tip to tail.

There is a grain of truth to that. I was met with a surprising amount of hostility for admitting on here that I didn't like her singing.

I'm kind of hoping it's this guy. At the very least, it might make the movie watchable.

I'm a moderately healthy woman, but since I started working out regularly, orgasms have been soooo much stronger. And the veins in my arms are more prominent too. I guess it really is all about circulation.

That's what I thought the article would be about too. I am... slightly disappointed.

It doesn't look like a pilonidal cyst (that article - oh dear god), but I'll look for some lavender oil on Amazon. I heard about it's healing properties before and am anxious to give it a go.

MRSA? That's a scary thought. Your poor uncle... I'll definitely keep my hands off and try applying some antibacterial spray.

The size of an egg?? Dear god... I'm glad you survived. That's horrifying.

Same problem, slightly different area... be warned, it's gross.

Are you my sister-in-law? If so, I apologize for my parents. They really need to learn to accept gifts graciously. It's not difficult. Showing gratitude is just common curtsey. I don't blame you for not sending anything.

Not at all! My mom's friend who volunteers at a shelter was the one to suggest "Smithers" for a name. She said there were a lot of cats coming in named Smithers, who knew the Simpsons still had so many fans?