Care to revise that statement?

You should have told him his package wasn't impressive enough for him to work at Chippendale's. But he could work the register.

That's probably for the best. They're so vile.

I recommend the Weight Watcher's recipe cards from the 70's. Take this "Jellied Tomato Refresher" for instance. Served in a brandy snifter! You'll never want real food again.

Aha, so it's a breed thing. Thanks for clearing that up. Cresteds are cute, in a demented way, but I wouldn't want one for a pet - their skin looks like it would feel gross and rubbery.

Same. And with a few exceptions, oral sex hasn't done anything for me either. Feels too cold and slimy. I prefer to have hot sex and them think about it later when I'm alone.

Hitachi Magic wand. First time I used it, I came harder than I ever have in my life. Each time gets better and better. It's also great for neck and shoulder pain too :)

This makes me cry. Poor little Dolly.

Doesn't anyone else worry that there might be some mistreatment of the dogs going on in order for them to look extra hideous? A lot of them are missing teeth, and some appear to have untreated skin conditions... I'm just a big old softie for ugly misshapen creatures, I guess.

What DO they say?

I too have a weakness for ugly squashed-in face dogs. The only problem with bulldogs is they fart. Constantly.

I would marry you just to get closer to your corgi puppy. Because they are terminally adorable.

[cuteboyswithcats.net]

I must be the only person alive who doesn't want anyone touching my anus. Ever.

Sounds like they may be too small. Try the next half size up.

I work at a summer camp. Most positions require at minimum a degree or several hundred hours experience, which teenagers are unlikely to have. I think the youngest person working at ours is 18.

Those poor kids. I'm 24 and my life is defined by boredom, hormones, and a lack of supervision. The difference is I can drive myself to the clinic. Hop aboard, kiddies, we're going to go free condoms and testing!

Bahh! They'll probably grind up the pages and snort them to get high. That's what teenagers do, right? The television says they'll do ANYTHING to get high.

One of my second graders has a kindle fire. Another has an ipad. It makes me want to tear my hair out.

All I see is a giant onion.